To all those who are or have ever felt ashamed or repulsed by any part of themselves, whether it be personality or appearance, this is for you.
Do you hate yourself?
Maybe you would never use such blunt language (at least not in front of others), but the sentiment is the same. Whether it’s one “flaw” or your entire existence, you’re disgusted with yourself more often than you are content, let alone pleased or confident.
Many in the world today experience what has been deemed as low self-worth (esteem or confidence) or its counterpart, heightened self-hatred. For the purposes of this post, we won’t cover the whole scope of this topic and its nuances. Rather, we will keep it simple and discuss the origin and solution. Neither are mainstream and some of you may stop reading the moment you catch on, but what I am about to share are exactly that: the origin and solution.
Before we dive in though, I want to add an important disclaimer: I write all of this as one who, for most of my early life, struggled with what society calls “low self-worth.”
I carried the burden of disliking myself in every conceivable way: from the way I looked, to the way I acted, to the way I thought and talked. What I liked and believed. Who I was.
I know what it is to dislike who you are and not feel comfortable in your skin. And it is only because God renewed my mind that I escaped this torment. He alone helped me know how to fight low self-worth. (More on that shortly.)
It’s important to note this because I know how easy it can be to dismiss someone’s counsel when they have no idea what you feel or have experienced. And though I probably don’t know you or everything you have gone through, I understand the thoughts. I get your feelings because on a basic level, I’ve had them too.
Okay, now that we’ve made that clear, let’s do this.
The Origin
The source of low self-worth is Satan. Also known as the devil, he is the enemy of our souls. Like a prowling lion, he constantly seeks those he can devour (see 1 Peter 5:8). He hungers to see our destruction and will do anything to steal, kill and destroy all that is good (see John 10:10). Why? Because he hates God and wants to destroy all that is His, including you, the one God made in His image (see Genesis 1:26a, 27).
Satan’s favorite weapon of mass destruction? Lies. As the father of lies (see John 8:44), he tries to convince us to believe all sorts of lies about ourselves. He does it through pride, envy and shame. When left untamed, his lies only grow.
The source of low self-worth is Satan...He hungers to see our destruction and will do anything to steal, kill and destroy all that is good (see John 10:10).
The Bible calls Satan’s tactics fiery darts (see Ephesians 6:16). When one hits you, unless noticed and removed (or better yet, thwarted by the shield of faith), it will sink into your soul until the infection takes hold. It festers, burns, stinks and slowly causes everything around it to die. He knows our weaknesses—including pride—and will use them to drag us down.
If you don’t like “x” about yourself, he’ll target it repeatedly to the point of hopelessness. What was once a fleeting worry for you becomes truth and maybe even obsession. Whatever it is, he convinces you your joy depends on either its presence or absence. “If you only had ‘x,’ you’d be happy.” “If you don’t have ‘x,’ you’ll feel peace.” He wants to entangle you in his web of obsession, anxiety and despair so that nothing can penetrate it. Like a steel wall from the pit of hell.
He also enslaves you in this pit when he convinces you to believe lies about God. Ones like He’s not good, doesn’t care or love you or doesn’t even exist. Doubt in God is Satan’s primary deception because he knows God is the only One more powerful than him. He knows God offers life, abundant life with peace, mercy, grace, strength and protection. And he knows that every person who belongs to God is His forever (see John 10:29). There is no snatching them from His hand.
Therefore, Satan does what he can to keep you from God and believing Him. This brings us to our solution. The one and only antidote to low self-worth.
The Solution
How does faith in and knowledge of God empower us to walk away from the shame of low self-worth? It reminds us of our purpose and the greater story in motion. When we remember life is not about us, but the One who made us, we hold all other things in account. Burdens and trials, small and significant setbacks, complete changes of course, minor and mighty successes, we view them all in light of God’s eternal plan.
It also lifts the weight from our shoulders because it reminds us the world doesn’t depend on us. In fact, the one thing we can control is our choices. The world continues on its axis regardless of our position on it. Our decisions inevitably affect others, but we alone do not possess enough power to change the world, let alone govern it. That responsibility lies solely on the only shoulders strong enough to bear it, those of God. (Remember, this is the same God who made and chose you!)
Furthermore, faith in and knowledge of God allows His Word to have the final say, in terms of our lives and who we are. What we think of ourselves in any given moment is prone to misplaced emotion and bias. We tend to overlook certain weaknesses and boast of any apparent gift. We place shame on ourselves when no shame is due while other times we neglect to accept the conviction He wants us to feel when our actions diminish His glory. We quickly believe hurtful, false words spoken against us.
...faith in and knowledge of God allows His Word to have the final say, in terms of our lives and who we are.
Such is not the case when we give God the final verdict on all things, including what we believe about ourselves. Will He always pat us on the back so we feel good? No, because not everything we do is worthy of praise (see Romans 3:23). However, He will show us parts of ourselves we have yet to place under His dominion so that He can transform them to better reflect Him, the embodiment of good. Of course, there will also be times when He confronts our self-belittlement and reminds us of who He made us to be, and most importantly in Whose image we were made.
It is true “God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28 NLT). This “everything” includes trials and successes, our weaknesses and gifts. God uses each of them to further His purpose to bring about His Kingdom “on earth as it is in Heaven” (Matthew 5:10 ESV) and empower us to “put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness” (Ephesians 4:24).
The solution to low self-worth is not to increase pride in yourself but your faith in and knowledge of God. The One who made and sustains you. It’s not a matter of convincing yourself of who you are but acknowledging who God is. This is the only real solution because our very existence depends on God. He thought of you before the foundation of the world (see Eph. 1:4), and He created you on purpose, with a purpose.
He is also eternal and true in all things. It’s impossible for Him to lie (see Hebrews 6:18), therefore, everything He says is absolute truth. What He says of Himself, Creation, history, you, me, Satan, if it comes from the mouth of God, it is true. No person can say the same. We all lie, misunderstand and misrepresent. We waiver and change our minds. Not God, not ever. He is the same today as He was yesterday (see Heb. 13:8), and He will be the same 10,000 years from now.
God has moved and continues to move in our world so that we will know He is the One and only God. We read of it repeatedly throughout the entire Bible (see Exodus 6:7, 29:46; Jeremiah 31:34; Ezekiel 37:14; John 10:14, 14:6-7). God longs for you to know Him, believe Him and root yourself in Him. Jesus speaks to you when He says, “Abide in Me” (see John 15:4). Live in and for Him. Let all He says about Himself occupy your mind so there is room for nothing else.
When you dwell on the greatness of God, all your problems and weaknesses find their rightful place: in His mighty hand. Lean into Him and hear what He has to say. No more trying to pick yourself up by your bootstraps or self-affirmation routines, just quiet time spent with the One who made you. Hear Him when He says, “Come to Me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30).
When you dwell on the greatness of God, all your problems and weaknesses find their rightful place: in His mighty hand.
To close, I want to share a sample of what God says about Himself and those who give Him their everything. Rest in promises such as these and take Him at His word.
Promises to Defeat Low Self-Worth
Psalm 34:4-5 - “I sought the LORD, and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to Him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed.”
Psalm 139:13-14 - “For You formed my inward parts; You knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are Your works; my soul knows it very well.”
Isaiah 12:2 - “‘Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and will not be afraid; for the LORD GOD is my strength and my song, and He has become my salvation.’”
Isaiah 40:28-29 - “‘Have you not known? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; His understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might He increases strength.”
John 10:14 - “‘I (Jesus) am the good shepherd. I know My own and My own know Me, just as the Father knows Me and I know the Father; and I lay down My life for the sheep.’”
Romans 8:1-2 - “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death.”
Colossians 1:13 - “He (God the Father) has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of His beloved Son (Jesus), in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.”
Titus 3:4-7 - “But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, He saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to His own mercy, by the washing of the regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by His grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life.”
*Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture references are from the ESV Bible.
References:
English Standard Version Bible. (2001). Crossway Bibles.
New Living Translation Bible. (2015). Tyndale House Publishers.
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